White belt

I'm going to get my first belt tonight. Its said the the white belt is the most important because it signifies a new beginning in your life. No doubts, worries or regrets.
All I have to do is recite the student creed to any of the instructors.
"I believe in myself. I am confident I can accomplish my goals.
I believe in what I study. I am disciplined. I am ready to learn and advance.
I believe in what I study. I show respect to all who help me progress."

I know it seems kinda corny but I need more positive affirmations in my life. I need to work on my internal dialogue, encourage myself more. My biggest hope is that this all brings me closer to God.

Its important to me that my instructors are warriors. I've been in a lot of fights in my life, around fifty I reckon. I certainly havent won them all but enough to know the best way for me to win. Sheer force and violence of action goes a long way, even if its poorly directed. I do very well on my feet, even though I lost that last toughman. I am in trouble once my back hits the ground, which is why I'm learning some grappling skills.
My first day there I kind of challenged one of the instructors. Although I had to work within the rules he was my size and I'm normally stronger than folks my weight. I was right, I went at him hard and I was strong enough for him to take me seriously. He gave me a right good thrashing too. I dont know if I could be comfortable learning fighting skills from someone I could beat I couldnt hardly pull my socks up the next day.